South of Red-Wing

I wake up on the wrong side of the equinox,
geese in isosceles stitches
trace a path down the world's face, stop
to ravish the harvest's sun-dried trash

piled in furrows and hedgerows.
A clatter of crows pleats the air
with black derision, brushes a red-wing
off the taut wire of her discretion.

Summer's long truce broken, the mice
have returned to the cat food, gnawed
dank passage to that heavy yellow sack,
peppered our floor with their delicate scat.

This bounty of need, feeling
the leaves crack as the cat stalks
his own red meal, whiskers his way
through the crisp buffalo grass.

Something has burrowed into the half-assed
pumpkin patch - skunk, badger,
another hair-shirt mendicant
telling her beads along the food chain,

clicking the beetles' lacquer-thin shells,
snapping brittle seed-hulls
in her frosty cell, far from the sun's ache,
taking no thought for the morrow.

Thin fires kiss the evenings now
beneath the railway trestle; and the men
with cardboard signs, trolling the highways
in denim and flannel, all drift south.

John Jenkinson

I usually have long epic movie dreams, but this one was rather short. It started at Springfield High School, all the characters were teenagers and nude, only the teachers were wearing clothes.

Milhouse walks in wearing only a red cap and a backpack sporting a huge boner. He had nipples too and muscle definition. He opens his locker and Bart enters the scene.

Other kids are walking down the halls, all the boys have huge boners, some are jerking off.

Bart is naked too, but his body is still smooth, no definition, smooth as a Ken doll. Pointing at Milhouse's erection he asks "What the hell is that?"

"I'll show you!" Milhouse says and reaches down between Bart's legs and kneads his crotch. Bart bends over and moans. When he stands up he has nipples, muscles and testicles. He goes over to his locker and opens it. Now we see him from the locker, he grabs his brand new penis and begins to rub it, it grows into a big beautiful bright yellow boner with a fleshy mushroom head. He moans and groans enjoying his new toy.

Enter Principal Skinner, fully clothed in his traditional dark blue suit. Only difference, he looked like the black guy at Moe's Tavern. He looks disgruntled, looking around at all the nude children, hands on his hips, and shaking his head. He stands behind Milhouse and reaches around and jerks on the boy's dick. He mutters something. Then he walks over to Bart, and reaches down to jerk off Bart, fondling Bart's body with his other hand.

Skinner just says "Hmm, I've got to do something about this. Can't have this in my school. Too many changes!" And stalks off down the hall.

Then I woke up.

I didn't wake up hard or aroused, I had this feeling of bewilderment, like "what the fuck?"

Seriously, that was a whole pile of weirdness. That being said, anyone feel like doing some Bart Simpson porn for me?

View at your own risk!

Hugh Jackman Naked!!!

Not a fake, from an unknown movie I desperately want to see!

[link]

I'd pay big bucks to stumble upon this scene

Bout of naked sleepwalking in British hotels
Thursday, 25 October 2007 15:49

A surge in naked sleepwalking among guests has led one of Britain's largest budget hotel groups to retrain staff to handle late-night nudity.

Travelodge, which runs more than 300 business hotels in Britain, says sleepwalking rose seven-fold in the past year, and 95% of the somnambulants are scantily clad men.

One tip in the company's newly released 'sleepwalkers guide' tells staff to keep towels handy at the front desk in case a customer's dignity needs preserving.
Advertisement

The company said naked wanderers often ask receptionists such questions as 'Where's the bathroom?' 'Do you have a newspaper?' or 'Can I check out, I'm late for work?'

Studies have found that sleepwalking can be brought on by stress, alcohol, eating cheese or consuming too much caffeine.

It generally takes effect an hour or two after going to bed, when people are first slipping into a deep sleep.

Asked why she thought 95% of its sleepwalkers were naked men, a Travelodge spokeswoman said: 'We have more men staying with us than women, so that could be a factor.'


Story from RTÉ News:
[link]

I was looking for Discworld stuff on Youtube and found a lot of Terry Pratchett interviews, in one he tells a very old dirty joke, which was even funnier because he was being very modest about the naughty bits.

But this one is by far the best and most amazing. Not because it's yet another celebrity facing a very human disease as a hero, but because he's facing it in a very human way. He does look very Merlinesqe, so I hope all the gods favor him with a sound mind and long life.

I love his books because they make me feel good. They're not just funny, they have something more to them, a substance of goodness. It's like visiting a town you grew up in, just to make sure it's all there and the same. And it always is, there is something very stable in the Discworld, even amongst the chaos, it all seems to fit back together in the end.

Harry Potter books don't give me a sense of peace, they agitate me, aggravate and leave me with a need to find matches and a Nazi book burning bonfire! Even the Twilight books don't satisfy me.

In Discworld, you can read the stories in order, or you can jump around, they're all complete universes in every book. There are recurring characters, like the simple Librarian, once a wizard, now an orangutan, who can say "ook" in a thousand different ways; these characters either appear or are mentioned in most of the books, this gives you a sense of stability that everything's okay. Great Atuin is still swimming through the sky and everything is fine.

The Interview: [link]